Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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