I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
