he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
