I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My breasts were aching with rage.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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