Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You're my little dorito
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
