cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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