It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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