Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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