Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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