We're like a lot better than the average bears
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
