his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
