I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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