i love accidental penises.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
