so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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