You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
