Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
PANTIES FOUND
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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