yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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