R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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