yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
