Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
