what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
