Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
