dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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