I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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