and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
