He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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