Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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