You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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