Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
