loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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