Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
