wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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