I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
