haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize