in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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