I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
