I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
even my farts smell like vagina
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
