I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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