There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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