I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
