Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
