This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
