it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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