It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
