A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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