Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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