I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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