I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he was CRYING into my vagina
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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