Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
