I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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