She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
BRING THE BAGELS
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
