now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize