Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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