I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
