The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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