i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
