So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
