Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
