Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
