Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
